Sunburnt Heart
by Louu Saint James
Summary: “Edward huh”? He trailed his burning hot tongue from my lips to my neck. “Edward”?“Could your Edward do this”? He ripped open my shirt and began his assault on my neck.. “Edward left you. He broke you”. “I’ll worship you Bella".“Will you let me...."?
1. In Love With Another Man

My poor little car was going to fall apart…… "If I could …. Could forget him…. I would please believe me….." I turned up the volume on what had become my favorite song. "In Love with Another Man" by Jazmine Sullivan…… I swear.

It laid out my life in black and white….. Except the "Man" part. I was on my way to La Push….. Jacob wouldn't answer my phone calls….. My notes attached to the dinners I sent down with Charlie…. Nothing. Not. A. Word. So I'd decided to go down there myself and either talk with my best friend (_Ex Best Friend?) _Or get eaten alive. Either way I had to stop this hurt that had been caused by the Jacob void in my life.

"A Girl who treats you like you treat them boy I know there's plenty women who'll love to have a man like you….." Maybe Jake didn't have time for me because he had moved on maybe he had another girl….. I didn't quite know how to feel about that.

I took a deep breath…… and rang the door bell. It took what seemed like hours… finally he answered. He almost took my breath away. My friend. My partner in "illegal" bike activity. My best friend. My Sun. My Jacob.

Still standing 18 foot 7 in all his werewolfy glory. "Jake". We made eye contact. I saw the same fondness the same care the same love reflected in his eyes…. At least until he hid it underneath a mask of… Calm? Indifference? I don't know.

"Bella, Is there something I can do for you"? He looked at me with disdain… I was so hurt. How dare he! "Jacob Ephraim Black! Don't you look down your nose at me! I accepted the fact that you can go from a boy to an enormously oversized bear wolf in the blink of an eye and YOU'RE upset about the company I keep? I think NOT!!!!!!!" I stamped my foot and he couldn't help but snort.

"Again with the foot stomping. Look my dads sleep… Let's go to the truck and talk". That was much more than I had asked for. We slowly meandered over to the back of my truck leaning against it casually. I had no idea where to begin……. Everywhere seemed to… wrong. "It sucked when you left". Apparently Jacob knew _exactly_ where to start. "It sucked when you left me … for him". I looked down in shame. That's exactly what I'd done.

"I tried my damndest to piece you back together after he left you to dry. And that's exactly what you did Bells. You shriveled up and you dried. Your soul, your spirit, your entire existence. And I took my time my energy to revive you… or at least try. Not that I minded I just wanted you to …… live…. Again. And you were….. Then he needed you and it seemed like …… I wasn't doing a good enough job. So you simply left me. Without a care… without a glance backwards….. Without a second. Fucking. Look. That's why I've been so angry with you Bella. Because you quit on me when I wouldn't give up on you".

He took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. I was awe struck…… I'd never looked at it that way. As me leaving him. I had never occurred to me that Jacob had needed me even a fraction of the way that I needed him. Actually it had never occurred to me that Jacob might have needed me at all. I wrung my hands out and opened my mouth once….. Twice…. The third time I had actually come up with something decent to say.

"Jake…… I …….. Love him". Why did it feel as though I was saying more than that? He was suddenly in front of me. He grabbed my face and tilted it up to meet his gaze. "But does he love you the same Bella"? I looked down and he placed a hand on either side of my face. "Bella I saw how it hurt when he left you. Maybe if you'd let me heal it…."

I looked up….. I knew where this was going. As our faces gravitated towards each other I wondered …. Why did I come over here again? And then we were kissing….. And then it didn't matter. What was "it" I had no clue but whatever it was……. Fuck it. My entire body lit up like a Christmas tree. My soul caught fire and my brain exploded in fireworks. This…. This was ……. Heaven. Our lips met as my hands drifted upward and fisted in his hair. I breathed through my nose as his lips parted.

His tongue darted out to taste my lower lips. Brushing across it slightly as if asking ever so quietly for entrance. Permission was granted, our tongues melded together as his body pressed against mine. I felt my legs hit the cab of the truck…. Jolting me back into reality. I pulled our lips apart with a resounding "pop" and looked him in the eyes. He was grinning from ear to ear. I wasn't. "Edward" I stumbled out….. "I …. I have too". I've never seen Jacobs face so………… calm. He kissed me again. T

his time fiercely and with what I felt was all the frustration and passion his way too damn tall body could hold. "Edward huh"? He trailed his burning hot tongue from my lips to my neck. "You love Edward"? He lifted me up onto the truck. "Could your Edward do this"? He ripped open my shirt and began his assault on my neck.

His lips, tongue, teeth were everywhere…. And I couldn't stop him……… As if I wanted too. His lips and fingers burned a path so beautiful down my chest and all over my neck. I could hardly breathe. Only his continued mention of his name brought Edward to my mind. "Edward left you. He broke you". He muttered as he planted kisses over my breasts.

Hands pulling my shirt down my shoulders and off of me. "I'll worship you. Bella…." He took his shirt off and I worshipped him. His bare chest was so perfect it HAD to have been sculpted by Gods. "Don't you want me Bella"? He whispered across my neck…….. He bit that soft spot right above where my pulse hammered seemingly beating his name……… While I screamed it. "Yes Jacob"…… "Please Jacob".

He unattached his lips from my neck and looked me in the eye. "Will you let me Bella? Let me make love to you". He kissed my palm. "With you". The other one. "Just for you". My lips. I looked him in the eye…………………………. "Yes". And with a whisper of my lips and a nod of my head I let Jacob cleanse both himself and I of all the hurt….. All the pain…… All the sorrow. It was just him and I. Together…………… Perfect.


	2. And I Will Try To Fix You

"If I had to choose between breathing and loving you….. I would use my last breath to say I love you".

I really, deeply, truly, and honestly…_wanted_to be sad. But I …….. I couldn't find it. Jacob slid out of me and I instantly felt empty but the thought could barely register before he was showering my face with kisses. Then my neck. Then my breasts. All the way down to my stomach….. It was so sweet it hurt. He was worshipping my body.

All was silent ….. Except for him. He whispered across my stomach "Bella I love you…… My God I love you". My breath caught…. My God it sounded like ….. A prayer. Slowly, silently, he whispered across my body. Time passed…… Time. Time. Time. "Bella? Say somethin' Honey". . . . . . . . . . Again with the open mouth and no words.

Finally, something. "I want it to feel wrong". He looked into my eyes and let his head fall. Even the air felt …. Bereft. I placed his head in my hands and raised his face to mine. "That was wrong … I don't want it to feel wrong…. I just….. I guess I know it should". He impatiently blew a lock of his long shaggy hair out of his face.

"Bella. I love you. . . . And that's all I wanna do". His tongue traced a path from my collarbone to my ear . . . . . Then he blew across it setting the once blazing hot skin to ice. "I know that you love…. Him". He seemed to have choked the word up. "You can love him all day long. I'll be here, in La Push". He placed another love bite on my neck.

He breathed deep against my skin as he placed kisses against my pulse. My breath hitched and I caught a whiff of myself. . . If I could smell it I know he could with all his werewolfy senses. His fingers trailed from my hair down my chest across both my breasts. I automatically arched my body towards him. Needing more…. Of him.

He slipped two digits into me. Caressing spots no one had ever reached. Spots of my soul uncharted by any discovered and claimed by him. Gladly by him. "Waiting for you to let me fill", he slipped into me hugging my soul. "All of the voids he left" Closely, tightly. My legs became an extension of my inner self as they reached out and wrapped around him. "And will leave".

I honestly can say that I did not give a FUCK about the fact that he was talking shit (cause that's what it was) about the supposed (did that slip out?) love of my life. All I cared about was him. And me. And Us…..I got into the truck and Jake closed the door behind me. I looked….. He looked…… I looked away.

I turned to start the truck. He called my name. I looked. "Bella…… I've waited this long….. I'm not about to stop. I'll be here when you're ready". He held my gaze for a moment longer. Smiled my favorite smile and slowly backed away from the car. I smiled weakly albeit reassuringly and hauled. Ass.

**********

I got home at a decent hour…. It was hard to believe I'd just lost my virginity a few hours ago. I walked into the house spoke to Charlie. "How was your day Bell"? My eyes swelled…. I gave a snort and a giggle and said…….. "Fine I was in La Push with Jake".

I ran upstairs and walked to the bathroom…. Well, the door at least and……….. Stood there. I knew I probably should shower.. But I breathed deep…. And I didn't want to. My senses were filled with him. My head with images of him…… and I. I shook them from my head and ran into my bedroom.

I slipped my shirt off over my head and shimmied out of my pants. I threw on a tank top and breathed deep. I looked at the clock. 7:30 I'd been home seven minutes…. Edward would be along at anytime. I was surprised he wasn't already here. He must be pissed…. Oh! If only he knew. I turned to climb into bed and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror………………………………………………. Jacob. Is. An. ASSHOLE!

I was livid as I watched the parts of my body that weren't covered in Love bites turn only that "Truly-Mad-Woman" shade of Red. He had marked damn near my entire body in….. I gave a shiver. He had marked my entire body. Again with the shiver. He…. Marked me.

I gave a small sigh. Lord…… Jacob Ephraim Black had told the world that I was someone's….. His. I could help but acknowledge the feeling that had given me…. A strong sense of possession. I was his. And he made damn sure that a certain vampire knew it. I threw myself on the bed and scrambled up under my covers…… Shit…… This was gonna suck major ass.

************

I knew it was him……. I could feel his presence. Even before I had heard him damn near silently close the window. I felt the pressure. Both from him sitting on the bed and from my heart trying run escape my body through my feet. He lay down next to me and pulled me close. . . . . . . . . . . "I'm not upset. I'm not your father, I had no right to tell you who you could and could not see.

I am sorry if I caused a rift between us. I want us to be back to…. Us". He kissed my hair and silently waited for my reply. Whether it had been wrath or reason I'm sure he wouldn't have left me. So I breathed deep and…………. Said "Okay. We're fine". …………………………………. Silence. "That's it"? He muttered. "Yep". I know…. I know….. Complete bitch move.

But hey……. You piss off a vampire, face him and_ then_ I'll feel bad about my decision. I could damn near hear the wheels churning in that head of his. "Hmm... Well okay. What'd you and Jacob Black do today"? I began coughing on spit that I knew wasn't there. Bad. Fucking. Move. I sat up and my covers slid down my body. To expose my neck.

And my chest….. I felt Edward freeze like the block of ice he felt like. He was across the room in half of a blink of an eye. "Isabella…… What are those"? I climbed out of bed. I felt as though if I was going to die I wanted to at least _start_ on my feet. I did my new thing with the opening and closing of the mouth…. But even if I had had something to say I doubt I would've gotten it in.

"You slept with Jacob Black? I came back Bella there's no need for you to find comfort in him any more! Why did you? How could you? You…… What in the hell! I MUST'VE died in Italy…… OMG this is worse than anything I could've ever imagined! You just let him have you like some common street whore!!!??? You could've done that before you dragged me back across the world. You could've told me you weren't happy! I ….. I …… I'm leaving". "NO!" I cried out and stumbled towards him with my arm out stretched.

"Please….. I ……"…… I searched for an explanation. All of the ones my heart put forth my mind kicked back. He looked at me….. So……….. Distraught. Saddened. Heartbroken. "Just tell me"…….. I knew what he wanted. I closed my eyes and thought back on today. Every cell in my body standing at attention. Every hair on my head aware of him……. My soul reaching for his outstretched hand. "He filled the holes you left". I heard the wind blow outside, and opened my eyes. He was gone………….

***********************

YAY!!!!!!!!!!! My story was well received!!!!!!!!!!! I'm super happy that all of you like it and I hope that you continue to enjoy it! I tried to make this chappie a little longer as a thank you to all the Favoriters: MineralGirlsMom, Pooks, and VampChick the Alert Adders: Minyonette, BoneKkrusher, Txs Sweetheart, Lou-Lou, Tayfeen, and VampChick. This chapter is dedicated to Mysterious Angel who reviewed, favorited, AND put my story on alert as well as Pooks who was MY FIRST REVIEWER!!!!!!!!!! Super yays!!!

Just a few notes and clarification bits:

This story takes place I'd say roughly two to three months after the end of New Moon.

I'm going with a slightly less strict Charlie in this story because …. Well shiit I need my Bella to be off punishment.

I do believe that's it if you have any questions or clarification bits ask me in a review and I'll answer each I swear it. I hope that you enjoy my story 'cause if you don't then…. I'm gonna quit writing because you all are who I do it for!!!!!!! =] Love yas! –Thee E.T.


	3. After The Hurricane

He takes my heart and sets its pulse. Everything else is easy. –Alla Nazimova, quoted in Margaret Wettlin's_ Fifty Russian Winters_

*********************************

Despite the tumultuous conditions in which I found it sleep I did eventually. However, my dreams were anything but that. They were warm… and comforting. It was this fact that had awakened me; I was turning in my covers when suddenly my dreams became very hot. The heat fluttered about my face, then rolled down my neck and in-between my breasts.

A sheen of sweat began to form across my forehead. . . . . This sure is one realistic ass…… Wait. I peeled my eyes open to see Jacob Blacks unruly shaggy hair splayed out between my thighs. "Jake! Shit!" I scrambled to get away from him to slowly apparently as he hooked his arms around my legs and began too….. I can't really find a word or phrase for it…. He… began to make out with my cunt.

I hardly had time to register what was going on before he bit my clit causing me to scream out then he slowly licked away the pain. . . He'd been down there maybe four minutes and I was already "Cumming!!!" I cried out as Jacob's laughter rumbled across my nether regions. He emerged from under the covers with my smile plastered on his shiny face.

As I attempted to find where my breath had run off to let alone catch it, Jacob said "Come on… Our Dads are downstairs". He pulled me out of the bed as I spluttered about. "Our PARENTS are downstairs!!! Jacob! Do you know how loud I was"!!!!!????! He smirked and said, "Yeah I do. But trust me it won't be a problem". I just shook my head. This boy…… Lord, this boy.

Jake playfully chased me down the stairs while I giggled at him to stop. We both hit the ground floor and froze at our parents suspect gazes. I cleared my throat and moved into the kitchen. I was searching for pots and pans when I heard a shuffle behind me. I turned to see Charlie standing there looking at the ceiling. I turned to face him.

He continued to gaze upon our apparently wondrous white ceiling and scratched his throat. "Are you sleeping with Jacob Black"? I answered "Yes" as quickly as my mouth could throw the words out. He scratched his chin again….. "Okay".

He rocked back and forth on his feet and …… seemingly rolled out of the kitchen. I laughed………….. My Dad……. I had cracked two eggs when all the guys rolled into the kitchen.

"Bella, Billy and I are going down to the reservation and Jacob stepped outside and told us to tell you he had to go but he'll be back". "Okay" and they were gone.

***

I had just put hot sauce on my eggs when I felt him. Standing behind me……. Shit. He had come back for me. I placed my fork next to my plate and my hands on the table. Silence. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. "You hurt me. More than I could ever imagine. I love you, you're mine. To think that someone had something that is mine"………… I was grateful that the air had no bones for he surely would've broken them all.

"However I understand why you…….. Were with him". Quiet…… Quiet. "Do you forgive me for the things I've said"? I hadn't thought about it. Did I? I guess….. I had to put myself in his shoes…… But I couldn't….. I kept understanding why and how I'd done it. . . . . . I slowly turned to face him. "You don't understand do you? You don't …… comprehend what you leaving did to me". I got out of the chair.

"You……. Left me. With only the parting words of. . . . . . This is for your own good? And I begged Edward, I begged for you to stay. You still left me. Jacob"….. "Has never left you Bella and more than likely never will. But does that mean he loves you better than me? What if he knew that it was the right thing to do, would he be strong enough to tear himself away from the thing he craves, loves, needed the most"?

Well…… He had me there. "Bella I know I made a horrible mistake but I'd spend eternity trying to make it up to you if given the chance". It was all on me…… would I try again and open myself up to a whole cavalcade of…….. Mess. Or would I give up on him…… and let Jacob sew up the wounds Edward had ripped into my body? "I will let you try Edward.

We will do something we didn't do the first time around. We are going to date. We immediately began this extremely unhealthy exclusivity the moment I found out your secret. I won't ….. I hope I'm not making the same mistake twice". I looked him in the eye and looked at him expectantly as he caught my last comment. "Yeah, I'm not your same old Bella". Then I silently dismissed him as I turned back around and ate my

Chapter Three there it is! I hope that you all enjoyed it as much as the first two. It was a smidge difficult to write but none-the-less fun. It took me a little longer than usual to write this chapter because I have so many different avenues that I can (and have) taken this story in my head that I don't wish to you know say one thing and then next chapter do another so I had to make sure my "flow" was right.

I could use more reviews because as I said this story is for you guys so give me your ideas and I'll more than likely incorporate them. So yeah feed the muse before this becomes one of those stories that just withers away and dies. So thas wassup. =] Many Thankies 2 those who did review! **Muah**- Thee Emotional Terrorist


	4. If Only For One Night

He snuck up behind me placing his hands on my hips as I was washing the dishes I'd used for breakfast. He kissed the side of my face. "I was wondering where you'd gotten off to Jake, it's almost 4". "Yeah I had to check on a few things". He started to turn around… " I smell him". I shut the water off and turned to face him. "Yeah, I was gonna tell you". Silence…. More Silence. "Look Jake we need to talk". He sighed and we sat down at the kitchen table. "Jacob, I have something to say". "Wait, May I go first"?

I nodded. _Hell yeah you can go first I have no idea what I'm about to say_. "Bella, I just want you happy. And if you think that he can make you happy then be with him but don't……. At least give me a chance". He grabbed my hand. My pulse did backflips. "At least let me try to prove to you that I can make you as happy as he can. Give you everything he can". He kissed my palm slowly. "And something's he can't". I looked in his smoldering black eyes and came face to face with a few facts.

First, Jacob Black was exorbitantly too sexy for me, and secondly I was more than likely never going to have the capacity to tell him no. He kissed the back of my hand…… And thirdly, with kisses like that was probably never going to want too. "I nodded my head and swallowed nothing. "Okay….. Okay. You may try". He smiled big as ever and squeezed my hand. "Good. Go get dressed. We are going on a proper date". He left me to go get dressed and I ran a hand through my hair…… Lord, help me.

We drove my truck down to La Push, to a part I'd never seen before. I was just about to ask him where we were going when he pulled up onto a lawn that led to a relatively large barn. He stopped the truck and waved as he saw Quil running up to meet us. "Hey Bro. Hiya Bella". " Hey Quil". "So man, how is it"? Asked Jacob. "Biggest one ever I think! It's extremely packed!!!!"

"Sweet!!!!!!!" Jacob exclaimed as we began walking towards the barn." "I know right!?!?! It's filled to the roof with chicks". Jake shook his head and smiled, "Nah…. I've got all I need", as he grabbed me around the waist. "Jake where are we going"? I whispered. "Oh, it's just a gathering of all the Native American kids around the area.

You know our own little modern day pow wow". He smiled and reflexively I smiled back. I just couldn't help myself. Quil slid through the barn door and Jake followed holding my hand. I could not believe it! This wasn't a pow wow this was a GINORMUS Native American RAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The HELL!!!!!!!!

The giant barn was stuffed! The floor we were standing on was obviously some kind of make shift dance floor. The second floor, (I assumed by the number of people I saw with drinks up there) was some kind of bar, and the third floor wasn't really a floor it was more of a like…. Small loft kind of thing where the DJ was located.

All in all ……. It was a pretty cool setup. I tugged on Jacobs's shirt. "WOW! How often do you guys have these"! He laughed at my awe struck expression. "Whenever the mood strikes us. We rotate tribes and whoever's turn it is to host usually sends out a text with the time and place to the, "Teen Chief" which in our case would be moi, and they forward it to their buddies and so on and so forth and…" He motioned to our surroundings. I smiled, man; these kids sure knew how to throw one helluva shindig.

***********

We'd been at this party for about an hour just dancing, talking with the people I knew and having Jake show me off like his new Transformers toy to all the folks I didn't. He introduced me as his girlfriend… I didn't correct him. The entire Native American population of the state of Washington did NOT need to know the complexities of my love life.

We were talking to Jakes crew which surprisingly but not unpleasantly included his sister Rachel, (who when introduced to me stated, "So you're the girl he won't shut up about. Howdy") Paul, Quil, Sam, Emily, Seth, Leah, Embry, Jared, and Kim. We were in the middle of the guys trading hilariously lame wolf jokes when Jake grabbed my hand and said, "I love this song. Dance with me"?

He began to pull me towards the dance floor when I planted my feet, (Like it would help). "Jake I'm not that great a dancer"…. "GO ON BELLA"! I turned to see Emily yelling at me. "Just do it"! They laughed and I covered my face with my hand and ran a hand through my hair…. Hell, why not. Jake placed his hands on my waist and began a slow sway with me. The lights in the barn dimmed to a sexy club like setting. With the main lights damn near off and then colored lights on. Then he pulled me closer, tighter.

_Let me hold you tight  
If only for one night  
Let me keep you near  
To ease away your fear  
It would be so nice  
If only for one night_

I looked away from his face and took a deep breath… .Lord….. This was …. A good ass song. I looked back into his eyes and instantly……. Got all hot in the wrong place. He turned me around and placed his hands on my hips as we swayed to the soft tones of Luther Vandross.

_I won't tell a soul  
No one has to know  
If you want to be totally discreet  
I'll be at your side  
If only for one night_

I bit my lip as I felt him press against me. Man….. He was gonna get it. My head fell back against his chest and I bit my lip. He bent his head down and kissed my neck.

I gasped and let my lips fall apart with the motion. God…. I was like the butter to his microwave. He spun me around and looked into my eyes…

_Your eyes say things i never hear from you  
And my knees are shakin too  
But i'm willin to go thru  
I must be crazy  
Standin in this place  
But i'm feeling no disgrace_

For asking...... 

I turned my back to him and pressed myself against the length of his body. I ran a hand through my hair and pushed it all to one said he took the opportunity to bite my exposed neck. I dropped my hand from my hair.

He grabbed both my hands and drapped them across his shoulders. I wrapped them around his neck andpushed back as he pressed forward.. This would be that much more divine if he didn't have on that SHIRT!

_Let me take you home  
To keep you safe and warm  
Till the early dawn  
Warms up to the sun  
It would be so nice if only for one night _…..

The lights came up and we both lingered on each others faces until we heard, 'Well damn". We found ourselves the focus of the entire Quileute tribe. They all had different looks of…. I don't know what to call it but apparently Seth did. "Got DAMN that was sexy". I hid my face in Jakes shirt as he laughed and hugged me.

*******

That dance had been the high point of my night…… so of COURSE someone had to come and make it a negative. Jacob had left me to go and get us some drinks and the rest of, "us" were on the dance floor when she approached me.

This beautiful tall indian girl. They way in which she and her three friends approached me however, was NOT beautiful.

'So…. You're the girl"? "Excuse me"? I muttered confused. "I SAID you're the girl. The girl Jacob left me for"……….. WHOA! Time ALL the fuckin way OUT!!!! "The girl Jacob… Jacob _left you for_"? "Well I wouldn't say left me for but I mean….. From me".

She gestured to herself in what I assumed she thought was glory, "To you". Well no guessing there she gestured to me with disdain. I was beginning to become ….. _miffed_ at her attitude.

"I just came to warn you. Don't get comfortable". I suppresed a laugh. "Excuse me"? She stepped closer to me. "You heard what I said. Jacob's just having fun with you. He'll get bored, and come back to me. So… don't. Get. Comfortable. With Him".

Okay…… Okay…… Let's just reevaluate this ENTIRE set up. This girl does not know me. But saw me with Jacob came all the way over here to "warn me" about how Jake's going to leave me… "When he get's bored"….

Uh-Huh. Now I'm not a confrontational person. However……. Something about the fact that she may or may not have been with Jacob just………………….. Pissed me the FUCK off. "Sweetheart", I said. 'I highly doubt that Jacob's going to get tired of me ANY time soon".

I pulled my collar down so that she could see his love bites. "And I doubt he's bored". She gasped and looked like she could punch me in the face…. She turned to hand her water to her friend….. And turned back around to speak to my fist………

* * *

I KNOW I SUCK ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I was SO DEVASTATED at how GAY(in a sickningly sweet icky type way) New Moon was I had to regroup, re read the books, and blame it on Hollywood. Sorry you guys. Don't kill me! I'm trying to maek it up to you with a double update! I'm UUBER sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please dnt stop reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =[ And remember PLEASE REVIEW!!! I need yur opinions!!!!!!!!!!!

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	5. It's About 2 B A What Girlfight

**I instantly regretted what I had done. I looked at the girl on the floor……. and then at her friends coming towards me…….. And then at Rachel punching one of the girls on the floor. Then it was a Malay. Leah, Rachel, Kim, and myself throwin down with these other girls. The original bitch had pulled my feet from up under me and was now attempting to climb on top of me. I wasn't having it. I punched her in the face and followed her as she fell back. I sat on her stomach and grabbed two handfuls of her hair…… I stalled for a minute not exactly knowing what I was going to do next……… So I did what seemed logical. I slammed her head into the floor. **

**She hit me in the stomach and in the face. I stood up and dragged her with me across the dance floor, (which wasn't NEARLY as crowded as before) and kinda tossed her aside. As she was trying to get up I ran over to her and kicked her in the ribs. I got her at least twice before I felt myself being lifted and carried away from her. I spat at the girl and struggled to get away from my carrying case. It was Jacob. "Jake let me down! I'm fine". He stopped walking and attempted to look at me. "I'm fine, just put me down". He contemplated it a second and set me on my feet.**

**I began walking and Jake followed me….. at least until I ran back. I kicked the girl one more time before Jake scooped me up again and tossed me over his shoulder. But not before I could flip the girl the bird with the parting words of, 'Get comfortable with that bitch". **

**Jacob didn't put me down until we had reached my truck. He sat me on the bed. "Here let me have a look at you". He reached for my face and I moved away. He looked at me bewildered. "Who was that Jacob"? He just reached for me again. This time I pushed his hand away. "Who. Was. She"? He looked at me, and I at him. This was NOT the time for sexy glances, this was time to answer Bellas question. "Her name is Nina. I went out with her like twice. Long before you ever came to my garage"… He looked at me awaiting my response. I smiled, "All truth"? He smiled, "All truth. Now let me take a look at that cut".**

**All in all it could've been worse. I had a cut above my right eye, one on my bottom lip and a few minor scratches that would mean nothing by sun up. He had just finished fussing over nothing when the rest of the crew showed up. "Damn Bella! Didn't know you had it in you", joked Quil. "Yeah Bella, who'd've thunk you'd get into a fight over Jake". I hid my face in my hands and attempted to suppress a smile. The girls were all standing there, smiling next to their men. "Thanks you guys, I'dve probably gotten my ass kicked if it hadn't been for you". They all smiled. **

"**No worries Bella, we take care of ours", said Emily with a smile. "Yeah, and I don't think you'd've faired to bad baby sis" said Rachel as she and Paul left. I looked at Jacob as the crowd dispersed. "I think she likes you". He chuckled as he lifted me from the cab.**

**Jacob parked my car in its usual spot and walked me to the door. "I had a great time tonight". He laughed and touched the cut above my eye, "Yeah I bet". We both laughed. "Well it's time for me to be heading home"…….. He kissed my forehead. I decided it was time for a little test…… To see what this whole thing was really about. I grabbed his hand. "Stay with me"…. He looked into my face. "Bella…. In the house? Well… at least while Charlies home"? "He's asleep and I don't want that". He smirked and raised an eyebrow. "At least not tonight", I admitted with a chuckle. "I just wanna lay, with you". My hand followed the contour of his well-shaped arm. "I want you to hold me…. Tight. Keep me warm". I followed my eyes from my hand on his shoulder to his face. He took my hand and I followed him in the door.**

**Someone calling my name awakened me from the world's greatest sleep. "Bella?….. Bells honey"? I slowly pried my eyes open to gaze upon the face of my father. I gasped and pulled my covers up on my body… or tried to. Jacob had his arm over me, our hands intertwined. I tugged on him. "Jake, it's Charlie". He yawned and slowly came to a state of consciousness… "'Mornin Charlie". Charlie laughed at Jakes serenity. "'Mornin. Bella, just wanted to let you know that I was on my way to work". I nodded my head silently. "Well….. Don't let me interrupt you". He left with a chuckle.**

"**Oh my God Jacob…. My dad just walked in" "On us sleeping. Nothing wrong with that Bella". He smiled as he kissed my nose. "So," he said rolling on top of me. "What do you want to do today"? I smiled and wrapped my hands around his neck. "I can think of a few really fun things". I laughed as he kissed my neck…… Which was really funny…………… Until Edward was standing there………………………**

**Well there yu go hope yu njoyed will update A.S.A.P. I got a job YAYNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!! **

**Remember Read and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!! =] **


	6. Just A Dream

……………………………………… So. First I was going to see them flatten my house to the ground…………….. And Edward will probably kill both Jacob and myself in the process…………………….. Effing. Sweet. Jacob pulled our lips apart with a deafening pop as he turned to address Edward. "You mind? I was busy with what's mine. Usually I'd put on a show but she's loud… and tends to get embarrassed". I think I just felt my eyeball slips out of its socket a little.

I'd never seen Edward so………………….. still. So………. Lifeless. So…………………………. Pissed the fuck off. "Perfect", said Jacob as he removed himself from me. I sat up…. "Where you going"? "To settle this. Once and for all". Jake headed for the door, and Edward turned towards the window. "Jacob"! I couldn't help but yell. Someone was going to die, I had to stop him from either being killed or becoming a killer.

He froze and Edward turned to look at me. I clamored out of bed. I damn near fell in trying to get to Jacob. "Jake you can't". I threw myself into his arms and then pulled back to look into his face. I held his face in my hands and looked into his eyes. 'Please… Don't go. I can't have you hurt or killed and I don't want any war or fighting just please". I ran my fingers over his lips and threw my shaking arms around his body. "You can't. Please. Don't go". He wrapped his arms around me. "Shh… Bella it's okay. It's fine. I won't go you've gotta calm down Bella babes just calm down".

He was shaking and I was so scared he was gonna phase….. At least until I realized the shaking was from me. I was scared to high hell that Jacob was going to fight and get hurt, or worse it had moved me to tears. He placed me on the bed, on the side away from Edward and was running his hands up and down my arms and whispering to me.. "Shh, it's okay. Babe you've gotta calm down". I attempted to release my Grip-O-Death on my bedsheets and took a few deep breaths. After a while and a few face kisses from Jacob I was okay. I opened my eyes to meet his and was greeted with a smile…. My smile.

"Better"? I shook my head. "Much". He kissed my head and smiled. Our moment was interrupted by a "Hmm". Not like "Hmm… What Did You Say, but more like Hmm…. So that's what's up". I turned around to see Edward standing there hands in his pockets.

"Non ho avuto un cuore da dare. Tuttavia ancora danneggia."….. And then he was gone. I don't know how long I stared after him for but……. I know that Jacob turned me around after my neck started to hurt. He wiped the silent tears from my eyes and waited until I was ready to talk……. "It's Italian. It means……………….. "I did not have a heart to give and still it hurts". "Damn" was all Jacob could say before I crumbled and cried on his shoulder.

Waddup! Back in the swing of things and trying to get as much as possible b4 I start work. I started to have Bella go on a date with Edward 2 but… Then it kinda felt like a really passionate episode of elimidate so instead I went with this. Hope yu like it…… OH! And please just give me Bellas Italian skills. Lol. =]

**A ll the chapter titles have been the names of songs and usually either the song itself, a caption form the song or something of that nature has been in the story the title 4 this Chapter is Just A Dream(by Carrie Underwood) however it's not in this chapter. I named this that (lol) because I bet Bella wishes this was all a dream. Lol. And I had to save what I was originally naming this Chapter 4 the next one. Oka… I THINK that's it. If it's not then I'll just add it on 2 the next chapter. =] Love, The E(motional) T(errorist)


	7. All I Got Are These Photographs

_Thought he was the one for me other boys I could not see, what happened to our love how could it be? It should have been me and you, it could have been you and me now all I've got is these photographs_…….-Rihanna Photographs feat. Will..

I was supposed to be getting ready for school. . . . . . . . . But I was instead replaying my entire relationship with Edward. A random picture taken by him in our meadow. A family shot where I looked even plainer than I was standing with him and his family. A gleaming Alice standing next to with myself looking green in the face in a designer something-or-other. . . . . .S much invested…… So much time……. So much love…… As I glanced at my favorite picture of us. My head laying on his chest … him kissing my hair I caught a glimpse of the clock. No more putting it off... Time to go to school.

I dragged the brick that was myself downstairs and sobbed at what I found waiting for me…………………………………………….. Jacob. Like a ton of bricks being lifted from my body. Like…… dying after fighting cancer. Like the first hit of cocaine……. Like falling in love in a minute's time. He stood up and I had never been so happy her had superstrength. I ran to him and into him like an effing train. "Bella" was all he said as I sobbed, just sobbed……. Like…… I can't even begin to put it into words, or a compairison. Maybe just_ maybe_ niagra falls would _begin_ to describe it. We slid down onto the couch and he just let me cry…… The silence filled with my earth moving sobbs……………….

I cried for twenty minutes then my tears ran out. I didn't know what to say so I said what I least wanted too. "I'm sorry I wouldn't see you". He just caressed my face. After Edward had left on Friday I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up Jacob was there…. As always, holding me as I slept. I woke up to find him staring me in the face. "Are you okay"? This was my response……………. "I would like for you to go home". WTF RIGHT! I know I know but I just really wanted to be alone. And then Saturday came and Jacob along with it. And I just… wouldn't see him. Then I began to feel bad about screwing over Edward for Jake and THEN screwing over Jake cause I felt bad about screwing over Edward!

So I spent my entire weekend alone with myself and my guilt. I was brought out of my reverie by Jacob moving. He readjusted himself and took a deep breath. "I don't understand why you wouldn't see me. But if it's what you needed then I was willing to give it to you. That's what I came here to say". I smiled… "Really"? He snorted. "No! I KNEW you needed me so I came here to make you see that you needed me as much as I love you. However I can say this isn't what I was expecting". I hid my face in embarrassment. "Not that I mind Bells'. He kissed my forehead.

I smiled. "Go. Wash your face…. We've got school". Wait a minute… "Yeah… How are you here? Aren't you going to be late for school down at the Res?" Jacob smiled big… **insert heart flutter much?** "Nope. I don't go to school at the Res anymore. I'm all about Forks High"……… My brain kinda … wistled Dixie for a minute….. Until Jacob laughed. That's exactly the kind of thing he'd find hilarious.

"You enrolled at my school"?? "Yep, and I've got almost all of your classes. I couldn't convince the sexually frustrated secretary to give me gym". He gestured to himself. "For obvious reasons". I could not wrap my brain around it….. "Seriously Bells. You thought I was going to send you to face him… to face them alone? Especially him… If I could guilt you into sleeping with me then….." That shiit woke me up. I hit him. He guffawed. "See that brought you back. Come on babes…… Get up! We've gotta get ready for school"………………

I KNOW I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A MONTH SINCE MY ALST UPDATE! But yu don't even understand! OKA! I was trying to get out of high school and I think I did I PRAY I did! And then work and then y boyfriend …. Look like's been beatin the hell outta my ass with the fugly stick oka! So PLEASE jus gimmie a break! I'm going to double update 2day EVEN tho I gotta b work 8 am 2morrow. Also the reason this update took so long is because not only was the last chapter a cliffie for yu it was apparently a cliffie 4 my mind as well! My muse wrote it and …. The convo went something like this:::

Muse: DAMN! That was a GOOD ASS CHAPTER all that emotion, and passion and those heart wrenching descriptions!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIIT! THAT WAS GOOD AS FUCK!

Me: HELL YEAH!!!! I felt that shiit myself! I can't wait to see what's next!

Muse: Yeah man…..

Me: So WHAT'S NEXT! LETS GET STARTED!!!!!

Muse:……….

Me: Hello? Muse?.....

Muse:…… I'm sorry your call cannot be completed as dialed………

SEE!!!!! She just abandoned my ass so again I'm sorry and I hope yu enjoy!!!!! RandR it's my muses mapquest!(Since apparently tht bitch gets lost………….. A LOT!


	8. Say Something Pt1

Chapter 8: Say Something.(Pt.1)

This was a _really_ bad idea. I honestly hadn't said a word since we'd left the house. Jacob thought it was hilarious. I on the other hand…. Not so much. I just honestly couldn't believe that Jacob was going to be attending school with me. And Edward…. And the rest of the Cullen's. Wowsers. Someone was gonna end up maimed. As we pulled into Forks High School I began to hyperventilate. I didn't notice how bad it was until Jacob was standing outside of the door holding his hand out to help me out of the car. He grabbed my face.

"Bella". I looked into his warm eyes searching for some semblance of sanity……. Nothing. He laughed. "Bella, it's going to be fine. No sweat". He kissed my cheek and it was as if he had passed his unnerving serenity to me. I smiled. "Yeah. No sweat". He helped me out of the car and held my hand as we walked towards the school.

Dear God! And I had thought dating Edward was bad! All eyes were on me…. No. Not on me. On _Jacob._ I gazed up at him and couldn't help but smile back at the damn near blinding one he threw at me. I had to admit he was a sight to see. To take in all 18' 7" of him was more than enough to make anyone stare. But with his shoulder length hair, sculpted arms visible even under his biker jacket, and his million and one dollar smile. . . . . Could I really blame the poor girls? I gigged…. Or the guys.

He looked down at me with a quizzical face. "What's so funny"? I said, "The girls just can't keep their eyes off you". He walked a little taller at that. So I laughed again. He raised an eyebrow. "The guys neither". He looked disgusted. I laughed out loud and then kissed his cheek. "Come on. We can't have you late on your first day". . .

We were standing at Jakes locker attempting to open it. Well…. That's not necessarily true. Jacob was trying to open it. I was trying not to piss my pants laughing at him trying to open it. "Bells this is not funny! The damn thing is evil"! I guffawed and held my sides while he glowered at me. When I finally gained some semblance of composure I reached up to help him. "Did you pass zero". "Yes babe! A MILLION times"! I chuckled some more. Was just turning to the last number when I saw them coming. "Oh shiit". I mumbled. "What babe". I motioned my head to the gaggle of oncoming girls. "They hate me as much as your lock hates you". He chuckled a bit. "After seeing you at the party I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle". I smiled as the horde converged upon me.

"Hey Bella". . . . "Hello". I ran my fingers through my hair. "Who's your friend"? She and her disciples giggled. Jacob ever the gentleman turned around and introduced himself. "Names Jacob Black. Just transferred up from the Res. Nice to meet you". He laid it on thick following up with his smile. I_ swear _they all group sighed. She stepped close and leaned even closer. "Well if you need help with anything. And I do mean _anything. _You be sure to let me know okay"? And then she winked….. WTF was this? The opeining sequence to an extremely bad porn flick?!!? WTH!

Jacob laughed and said, "Thanks but I'm sure My Bella can give me all the help" his eyes slowly caressed my body, "that I'm going to need". He then pushed me against the locker and kissed me like I'd just come back from Survivor. I got caught up and moaned into his mouth while fisting my hands in his hair. He broke the kiss and followed it with three small ones. He then turned back to the girls. "It was really nice meting you though". He then grabbed my hand as we walked down the hallway giggling.

We made it to lunch without the points and the stares. But when we got to lunch…….. I swear to God you would've thought we were moving in slow motion. So as soon as you enter the cafeteria you walk into the lunch line or you can veer slightly left and go find a table. Jacob and I were talking all through the entire getting our lunch process and such but when we hit that corner………… Every eye on the face of the planet it seemed like. Was on. Us. Jacob just wrapped is arm around my waist and found us a table.

When we passed the Cullen table I put my head down. I heard Jake make a strange noise but his step never faltered. We reach our destination. A table back in the corner so that we could see the entire lunchroom. . . . . . And so they could see us. Jake didn't say anything so I just began eating. It took me almost twenty minutes to notice he'd been stairing at me. I put my fork down. "Bella, are you ashamed to be with me"? I sputtered.

"Of course not why would you say such a thing!" He scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. 'Well when we walked past the Cullens you lowered your head. Like you were… I dunno. Ashamed". He then looked down at his tray of… mashed potatoes? And I grabbed his hand. "Jacob. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I just simply couldn't look them in the eye. I didn't want to see how they were looking at me". He smiled and let out a breath it seemed neither him nor I knew he was holding.

He then caressed my cheek and I leaned into it not caring that all of Forks High was looking. He then begin to dig into his ….. Was it soup maybe? And we struck up a conversation. Like we hadn't just heard the silent cafeteria erupt into a cavalcade of gossip.

****************

Waddup! Here's a much needed update. Hope yu all r enjoying the story thus far. I have Pt. 2 written in my head I just don't have it on the Comp yet. But no sweat it'll b here 2day or 2morrow. I just gotta go catch a quick nap cz DAMN I'm tired. But please R&R. Much Lovies!

TheEmotionalTerrorist.


	9. Say Something Pt2

Say Something Pt. 2

"This shiit was all I knew you and me only. I did it all for you, still you were lonely. We coulda worked it out. But I guess things change. Funny how his success brings my pain. When you're no longer involved, seems that person has it all and you just stuck standing there. I'm gone need you to say something baby…"- Say Something Timbaland feat. Drake.

I'd almost forgotten my discomfort and the reason for it when the cafeteria fell silent once more. I chuckled at Jacobs joke and looked up to see what all the fuss was about. The one thing all the fuss was always about. . . Edward. He strolled into the cafeteria looking thoughtful and then he suddenly stopped as if someone had called his name.

He cocked his head to the side and gave a ruefull smile. "No fucking way" I heard him mumble and then his gaze fell on us. Jacob looked off as if he was holding an entirely different conversation and then he squeezed my hand. His eyes fell upon my face. "Bells, honey. I'll be right back". He loudly scraped his chair away from the table and began to walk towards Edward. I got up and had to runn to catch him what with his giant strides and all. I grabbed his arm. "Jake"! He and Edward were face to face toe to toe and I was damn sure it was going to develop into blow to blow. I stepped in between the two and did the only thing my mind could handle………. I began to fake laugh. "Ha ha ha! Funny….."

Then so low noone but the two of them and probably the rest of the Cullens could hear I wisper-yelled. "You tw FUCKING STOP IT! Making a big ass scene! It's not like EITHER of you can hit he other without exposing EVERYONES secret. Edward. . . . I don't even know what to say to you. But Jacob Ephraim Black if you don't sit. Your. Ass DOWN. I Know something you don't. And this isn't something you wanna be privy too"!!! I then glared up at Jacob who was still glowering at Edward.

A vibration began to shake my body and it took me a while to realize it was Jacob growling at Edward. Edward emitted a low hiss in return and then walked away. Jacob stood there for a bit before wrapping his massive arms around me and apologizing softly in my ear. "I'm sorry Bells". I sighed. Let's just get to class.

********

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Jacob was waiting for me at the truck when school let out, and kept me entertained all the way home with his tails of how three girls passed out when he took his shirt off in gym class. As we pulled onto my street he suddenly stopped laughing. "Jake what is it". He ripped the dashboard so hard he left an imprint. "That's it. I'm sorry Bells but he's going to die".

He then jumped out of the moving vehicle and bolted towards my house. I sat there staring at my open door wondering what the hell was I gonna do when it came to me. I thought as hard as I could and screamed in my head. By the time I had opened my eyes he was there. "Bella! What's wrong"! I let out a sigh of relief. "Look I can't explain I just needed to get your attention. Jake was on his way to kill you", he snorted. "I'm serious Edward. Look just meet me at the end of the path in the woods at midnight".

"Bella I…" "JUST DO IT"! He looked stunned that I had yelled at him. But damnit! He won't listen, Jake never listens and I'm NOT going to have someone's death on my fucking hands! I took a deep cleansing breath and looked him in the eye. "Clearing. Midnight". He nodded and I reached over closed my door and drove off.

I got home and slammed the door as I entered the house. I was LIVID! I looked around the living room to see if Jake was there he wasn't. But there was something I needed. I grabbed the something and ran upstairs. I pushed open my door and there he was sitting at my computer desk looking out the window. He got up and turned around and that's when I hit him. "Fuck Bells! A BASEBALL BAT"! I swung at him again but this time the bat broke with the contact…. So I began hitting him with the piece I still had in my hands.

He finally got over the shock of getting hit with a bat and took it from my hands. I began to hit him with my fists. He grabbed my hands. "Bella! WHAT THE SHIIT"! I screamed at him and he let me go. I threw myself on my bed. He stood there waiting for an explanation. I gained my composure and sat up to look at him. "You are an . You've got to get a top on that temper"!

His eyes bulged… I think they might have slipped out his sockets a bit. I'VE gotta…… I'VE GOTTA GET A TOP ON MY TEMPER!??!?!?!?!! BELLS! YOU JUST ATTACKED ME. WITH A BASE-BALL-BAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I'VE gotta control my temper"!?!!! I thought about it and it began to make me giggle. Then my giggles turned into laughter. Apparently it was infectious because he began to laugh as well. After we were both wiping tears from our eyes I got up and walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. "Sorry for being so hot headed Bells". "Sorry for beating you with a baseball bat". We giggled. "Why a baseball bat"? I shrugged. "Couldn't find a crowbar". . . . .

There you go part 2. With the lyric. Lol. Hope yu enjoyed it lemme know in a review c yah soon. TheEmotionalTerrorist.

P.S. Thnks 2 those who left specific review it really helped me this chapter.


	10. Love, Right Now

Love, Right Now.

It was 11:30 when I found courage. I allowed my eyes to flutter open as Jacob drew the ABC's across my stomach. I stilled his hand, pulled my shirt down and sat up. He looked up at my love and questions in his eyes. "I….." I swallowed and took a deep breath. "I'm going to speak with Edward tonight". He squeezed his eyes shut and looked away. "Jacob, I . . . . I haven't spoken to him since". I suppressed a chill, as the image of Edwards's expression on that day flashed through my head.

"He deserves the same explanation I came to give you. You remember that"? My bed vibrated with the rumble that resonated through his chest. He stood up. "When"? I toyed with a frayed edge on my cover. "Twelve". His fingers made indentions in his palm. "I am not your father. I can't tell you where to go. I am your boyfriend though. And I can tell you. . . . I'd rather you didn't. But you will". He hopped up onto the window sill. "You always do". And he was gone.

**********

I pulled up my sweats and contemplated a right or left. I closed my eyes and took a deep calming breath. When I opened them he was there. I gasped. He smiled. My smile, no. Not mine anymore. "Sorry to have startled you". I gave a half smile. "No big". He outstretched his hand. I stared at it like he was a leper. He laughed. "Come on. For old times sake"? I looked from him, to his hand, back to his face. He smiled brightly. "I swear. I won't bite". I shared a smile, and took his hand. We reached the meadow in no time. I forgot he was there as I took a look around. I smiled as my eyes fell back on him.

"I'd almost forgotten how beautiful it is". He smirked. I had no idea where to begin as per usual. So I waited for him. He stood, I stood. He stood some more, so did I. He stood a little longer; I remembered he didn't need to sit. I plopped down in the grass. He was next to me in an instant. "Bella". I closed my eyes against the tears that were already threatening to fall. I know I had nothing to cry about I was the breaker of the hearts this time but still. The knowledge that I was doing to someone what had been done to me. . . . . Just didn't sit well with me.

I felt his hand on my shoulder. I tensed. "Hey". I looked at him tears justa falling. "Don't take away the one thing I'm allowed to do". He placed his legs on either side of me and slowly coaxed me back. Something in the back f my mind whispered at me. I think it said something like. . . "NO"!!!!!!!!!!! But it said it so low…. I couldn't be sure. I rested my back against him and instantly relaxed. It was familiar. . . . Like saying the phone number to your house. It's not so much from memory but there's this…. Unearthly sense of just….. Knowing. We took a deep breath and I closed my eyes.

I felt his lips part against my hair. "Love, there's so many things I got to tell you. But I'm afraid I don't know how. Cause there's a possibility that you'll look at me differently. Love, ever since the first moment I spoke your name. From then on I knew that by you being in my life. Things were destined to change". I attempted to stifle a sob. "Love so many people use your name in vain love those who have faith in you sometimes go astray love threw all the ups and downs joys and hurt love for better or worse I still will choose you first".

I turned my head away. Ashamed of myself. We could've had it all. I almost forgot that I was the one mind he couldn't read when he echoed my thoughts. "We could've had it all". I sniffled and attractively wiped my nose on my sleeve. "I know". I started to stand before I could even put my second hand on the ground he was standing before me hand out stretched. We stood there. Face to face. Hand in hand. Equals.

That's how we stood when I smelled him. I don't know where it came from but it was just Him. It filled my nostrils and flooded my brain. It tingled to my finger tips and floated back up from my toes. I closed my eyes and was filled….. With him. I opened my eyes and found only Edward. No sign of Jacob save the tingly sensation that filled the back of my neck and spread throughout my body with each pulsation of my heart. I removed my hand from his velvet grasp and caressed his face. I swallowed hard, trying to find something to do with the tears. He mistook it. . . . . . . . And kissed me.

At first I was filled with that "phone number sensation" again. I fell back into what I knew so well. My hand automatically went to the bottom of his hairline to scratch it lightly, his hand found my lower back with a swiftness even I didn't think HE was capable of as he pressed our bodies together. But then, a new occurrence, his hand began its way up my shirt. To my bra strap. To undo it. TOLD YOU! Screamed, that once quiet voice in my head. Now its throat red hot and raw from the screaming it was doing.

I pulled my lips from his with what I referred to in my brain as the pop heard round the world. "No". He looked at me. Pleading…. Begging. I had to get him to understand. To . . . To…. I closed my eyes and searched for the words. I found the perfect song. I knew I couldn't sing it but maybe if I said the words. Hopefully it still conveyed my message. "You're so. … You just don't know what I'd do to you if the situation were different". I ran my fingertip across his lip.

"We'd be alone. We'd be on this floor. It's be on for sure". I placed his head between my hands. "But we can't. We just can't". I pressed my forehead to his. "You make me wanna do something I'd never do. Wanna go there with you. All the way there, touch me there, take me there with you. Boy I'm scared of you. Nothing compares to you. . . But I'm not prepared to do it". I looked him in the eyes. "So I can't love you. Like you want to. We just can't do it. And it's taking everything in me I want to. Right now. But there's this one dude. And he's keeping you from giving you my love". He was behind me in an instant showering kisses all over my face and neck. I laughed. How fortuitous. "I must admit it. Baby ooh your kiss. It's taking my mind. To places that I thought I'd never see before. Make me want it more". I stepped away, and looked at his face. I ran a hand through my hair and gave a sigh.

"I know you're hoping that I give a little, bend a little more". I gave a shrug of my shoulders. "We just can't do it, and it's taking everything in me I want to but I can't love you. Like you want to". He picked me up and had me against a tree assaulting my neck. I let out a moan. "Right there right there. Touch me there and there. Ooh right there! Right there right there". I caught myself with a gasp. "No"! He put me down. And I shed a tear. "Not right now". Then I turned…. And left.


	11. Torn To Tell Him The Truth

Torn

"A part of me wants to leave him alone a part of me wants you to come home, a part of me says we're livin a lie… And I'm better off without you. And I'm just torn in between the two.'Cause I really wanna be with you but something's telling me I should leave you alone……"

***

This HAD to be what it's like to be crazy…. So many thoughts were running through my head I felt the damn thing would explode…… That could NOT have just happened. I felt like a whore possessed. What had I done? Had I really just….. I sighed and gripped my sleeves in my hands…. I wanted my hoodie to swallow me whole. I had tried my hardest to get lost so… naturally I wound up exactly where I didn't wanna be.

As I stood in the trees across from my house I couldn't believe I had actually come home….. I would've been better throwing myself off another cliff. Maybe….. No, I quickly decided I couldn't play the almost dying card again. I took a deep breath and trudged into the house. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked up….. Hmm…… There seemed to be so many. I walked up the stairs and stopped in the bathroom to brush my teeth. _"Yeah cause he's TOTALLY not gonna be able to smell the GUILT all over you". _….. I silently wondered if I could put a hit out on my conscience…… Yup, had to be crazy.

My hands trembled as I opened the door to my room. I knew he'd be there. Charlie was pulling an overnight so…… There he was laying on my bed sound asleep. . . . I wanted to scream. I was so … angry. Frustrated. Upset…. Wit myself. I can't believe I'd done that to Jacob. I can't believe I'd done that…… To us. I shuffled over to my stereo and pressed the buttons. The comforting "click. Click" setting my hands at ease, the noise of completing the simple task.

I pressed play and turned around to find Jacob standing…. Looking at me………. Waiting. He stepped towards me, "Bella". I burst into tears. I quickly wiped my eyes and looked up at the sound of his retreating steps. I ran after him throwing myself against his back wrapping my arms around him. It was an expression of just how much Jacob loved me that he didn't simply throw me off and leave. I sobbed. "Jacob….." I gasped for the air that had my lungs had misplaced. "Jake, just listen baby. Please". He turned his head to the side as if trying to look at me. The song began to play.

"If you thought that I was perfect boy you were wrong. I'm far from that. There's one thing that I've done to you that I regret". I kissed his shoulder. "I know it's no excuse but I'm only human, and young at that. So I'm gonna make mistakes and hope you understand". I kissed the other one and he turned around.

"Didn't see it comin, it wasn't on purpose. Baby I promise didn't mean to hurt ya. Will you forgive me? You didn't deserve this. I know it wasn't worth it". I kissed his chest all the way down to his pants. I ran my hands up his body and my tongue followed. Each stroke a silent apology, sealed with a slow kiss. "Gotta tell him the truth. I'm not ready to. Gotta tell him the truth. Somehow…. Gotta tell him the truth. That's what I gotta do, gotta tell him the truth, right now". I could taste my tears on Jacobs skin. As I kissed his neck. From left…. To right. "You shoulda seen I had tears rollin down my face. I turned my back. But now it's heavy on my tongue cause I knew that you'd know something was wrong".

I wrapped my hands in his hair and looked him in the eyes. He grabbed my hands out of his hair, placed them at my sides and walked away. I yelled out, "Jake"!! And again he halted. "Didn't see it comin wasn't on purpose. Baby I promise I didn't mean to hurt ya. Will you forgive me? You didn't deserve this; I know it wasn't worth it". In the back of my head I registered the CD had cut off. We were encased in silence.

"Jacob…. It was just a kiss". The words hit him as if a physical blow and he grabbed on to the door frame. He turned around and looked at me. . . His eyes full of questions, of hurt, and pain. Then his eyes hardened and he turned away from me finally leaving. I fell to the floor in the glow of the moon…… I looked out of my window at it and wondered….. Would my sun ever rise again?

*~*~*~*~

And there yu have it! Chapter eleven. Sorry 4 the false update guys. I had posted just the later half of this chapter but it felt… lacking so I posted Bellas thoughts on her way home. Don't worry there will be more of an explanation as to Bellas actions and Jakes thoughts on said actions in the next chapter so no sweatsies. Umm…. I think thts abt it. ReadAndReview! Many Lovies, The E.T.


	12. Slow Dancing In A Buring Room

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

Chapter 12.

And yet the sun came. I could hardly believe it. I was certain, absolutely and irrevocably certain that I'd never see the sun again. Or perhaps, it was that I didn't think I deserved or needed too. Jacob was gone, and it was beyond the shadow of a doubt my fucking fault. As I peeled the side of my face off of the floor I took an inventory of myself. Dry mouth, hell shot hair, blood shot eyes, aching body. "Okay", I said out loud, the sound of my voice comforting in my silent world.

I sat up and leaned back against my bed pulling my knees to myself. I could smell bacon, and it registered that I was hungry but I didn't honestly _want _any. My brain just kind of… registered that there was a smell, the smell was called bacon, bacon was for eating, which I … _should_ do, but I didn't _want_ to do. I took a deep breath through my nostrils and let it out through my mouth. There were a couple other things I didn't _want_ to do, but if I did want anything right in my world ever again then they simply had to be done.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I felt like I was going to fucking. Yak. I knew that they knew I was here but I was grateful that they stayed inside. I was staying outside because I couldn't face them yet. Them coming out would have made me defensive because I felt rushed. I suspected that they knew that and that's why they stayed inside.

"_Funny how the only people who understand you are the undead". _I smirked as the errant thought ran across my mind. "_There is another_", the smirk vanished from my face at that one.

I stepped out of the truck and slammed the door. No time for sadness, best put on a bold face. I squared my shoulders and began towards the house feeling ready to take on the world. I gazed up at the vast house that was peeking through the sunlight. I was covered in pale pink as the light shone through Alice's fuchsia curtains. An image of her dressing me up for Edward and my first "official" date was brought before my eyes. I looked away only to gaze upon the creek. I saw Edward and I sitting on a rock simply listing to the water. I bit my lip to stop the tears that threatened to spill with each breath. I opened my eyes and found them resting upon the garage where all the beautiful, flashy, ostentatious, cars sat…. I also gazed upon one lone car…. Sitting in the back: Edwards birthday gift that I never got to open. I attempted to swallow the softball in my throat that was sitting atop all of the air in my body, and I opened the door.

I simply meandered through the house, and into the living room where they all sat. Everyone looked up at me with sympathy and smiles. An inviting(or supposed to be anyway) chorus of, "Hello Bella", rang out to me. I smiled and nodded. Then he came around the corner.

He stared.

Me too.

A little more staring.

From me as well.

Until finally I felt a breeze and broke eye contact to see that everyone was gone. He spoke. "Hello Isabella". I began to cry in earnest. "Edward. I can't do this." I sobbed once and gasped for air pressing my hand to my mouth. "I (sob) simply (gasp) can't!" I gasped again as it felt all the air I had collected in my body had left it in the same breath. I collapsed to the floor. I was unsure as to wether it was because I no longer wished to stand or because I no longer could. I sniffled and almost chocked on the amount of pure snot I gathered from doing so. _"I am really truly and honeslty distraught" _, I thought. I laughed at my foolproof and solid reason that I was for certain that I was distraught beyond belief: I was doing the Oprah cry.

Edward must have thought I was going to hysterics (which I probably was) because it was then that he came to sit next to me. Offering me a handkerchief. I wiped my face and shoved it in my pocket. He blurred over to the stereo and back to me. He offered his hand to me. "Dance with me?" I sniffed again and without knowing why….. I took his hand. He pulled me to my feet and led me to the middle of the shiny wooden floor. I laid my head upon his chest, my hand on his shoulder and placed my hand in his as we swayed to the perfect tones of John Mayer.

"It's not a silly little moment. It's not the storm before the calm. This is the deep and dying breath of this love that we've been working on. Can't seem to hold you like I want to, so I can feel you in my arms. Nothings gonna save us, this is the final alarm". I bit my lip as a silent tear rolled down my face. "We're going down. And you can see it too. We're going down. And you know that we're doomed. My dear we're slow dancing in a burning room". I felt Edwards grip on my hand tighten and he pulled me close as I began to cry in earnest. This was what I needed; it felt as if I was beginning to be cleansed.

"Go cry about it why don't you , go cry about it why don't you. Go cry about it why don't you.  
My dear, we're slow dancin' in a burnin' room,  
Burnin room, burnin' room.  
Don't you think we oughta know by now?  
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?" I buried my face and my hands in Edwards shirt as he pressed a kiss to my hair and wrapped his arms around me. "Bella, I'm letting you go. I will always love you, and if you asked me I'd move heaven and earth. 'Cause I'll do anything you'll ask. Including stop being the man you love. I love you Bella Swan I love you enough to stop." I sighed, and we hugged, and then we let go.

Of everything.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There you are Chapter Twelve! WHICH IS DEDICATED TO THEE AWESOME EFFING RIFFIC SHEWOLF94!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This ones 4 yuu. So read Review lemme know what yuu think!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PULEZE!!!!!!!!!!!! Who knows your opinion might just make you the next dedicatee….. **MuahMuch** The E.T.


	13. Mad

Chapter 13: Mad

"Every time you scream at me. I wanna kiss you. And when you put your hands on me, I wanna touch you. And when we get to arguing just gotta kiss you. I don't know why it's like that but you're just so damn sexy…. When You're mad"- When you're Mad by Ne-Yo

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I don't really remember anything in between leaving Edward with a final hug on his doorstep and finding myself at Jacobs. I was just… There. I knocked and waited. And waited. And waited. Until Billy came to the door greeting me with a smile. "Hullo Bella", I couldn't help but smile. "Hello Billy". I bent down and gave the old man a kiss on the cheek. "May I come in?" Billy laughed at me. Like, laughed. Like, "damn-she-just-busted-her-ASS" laughed. "Bella, baby you're family. Always have been, always will be." I smiled at Billy damn that man was sweet.

He rolled out of the way and let me in. I glanced around the small house and turned to speak with Billy but he was nowhere to be found. I stood there for a moment until he wheeled back into view. "I'm leaving. I'll be back… eventually". He smiled and stuck his neck out a bit. I bent down to give him a kiss and he left. I was all alone…. With Jacob. As I made my way back to Jacobs's room I wondered if he hadn't slipped out while I was with Billy. I pushed open the door to find. Jacob sleeping sprawled across the bed that I was afraid was going to simply snap under his weight.

I smiled, my Jacob looked so beautiful. I wanted to crawl in next to him but knew that would not be wise. As I gaze upon his face I saw his nose twitch repeatedly as if he were smelling something… Oh shit. Me. I hurriedly spoke, "Jacob its Bella". He stretched and groaned and turned his head the other way. He kept wrinkling his nose. "Get out." I flinched. "Jacob it's me. Bella!" He shuffled further down into the covers. "I know. Now get out."

My mouth fell open. "Jacob! You cannot just put me out the house at least give me a chance to explain!" He sighed and kicked the covers off of his bed.

Silence.

More silence.

More silence after that,

"Nope get the fuck out." I could feel my face burning, hitting my scalp and rolling down my spine, around the heels of my feet, across their pads, up to my ankles, ghosting over my shoulders until it had reached my face again. I knew. I fucking knew it. I just didn't think the day would come so soon, but I guess today was the day: The day Jacob and I would come to mutha fuckin blows. I walked towards him normally, (wouldn't do to have him guess my intentions) grabbed one of the pillows from the floor………….

Pressed it over his face and held it there.

I could hear him talking from under the pillow as his legs kicked and flailed about but I really didn't care what he was saying too much. I just wanted him to stop breathing the disrespectful little fucker. He finally remembered that he was stronger than me by a mile on his worst day and flung the pillow and myself. I picked myself off of the floor and started in on him. He met me in the middle gently pinning me against the wall.

"What the fuck is your problem you crazy bitch!" "You your simple ass bastard! I came over here to talk and you think you can just throw me out! Who the FUCK do you think you're talking to like that?" "Oh, yeah I'm sure you came over here to talk you insensitive ass! You come over here practically bathed in his scent and think I want you to stay? What was I hmm? Just a starter fuck? Now you've come here to break it to me LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO?" "Jacob you simple bitch if you'd FUCKING listen I can tell you EXCTLY what the FUCK I dragged my ass ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE TO FUCKING SAY!" We stood like that for a moment. Breathing hard. Fast. Eyes raging. 'Well! What did you come all this fucking way to say Bella?" I rolled my eyes. "I love you! You hot headed, rude, inconsiderate, loud, unruly bastard. I fucking love you". He looked me in the eye still breathing hard attempting to make a decision. A very hard one it would appear. I began to open my mouth to say something my words were greeted by his tongue…..

*~*~*~*~*~*

And that's why she's called Cliff Hanger! Lol. (Twenty hugs to whomever gets that reference lemme know in a review) I decided since I was so moved be SheWolf94 tht I'd do a double update c thas what reviews get yah!!!!!!!!! **MuahMuch** Thee E(motional) T(errorist)


	14. When You're Dreaming With A Broken Heart

Chapter14:

Dreaming With a Broken Heart

It was vivid. It was vicious. It was repetitive. Every night since I had thrown Bella out of my room or kissed her to remind her just what she had given up and then ignored her until she left, "The Dream" had played like Gigli in my head.

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart… waking up is the hardest part. You roll outta bed and down on your knees….. And for a moment you can hardly breathe._

I see Bella. I feel her, I touch her. She smiles at me, and caresses my face. She kisses me, I taste her. I shift our bodies so that I'm on top of her. Kissing her as if her life depended on it, consuming her. Because if I did, he could never take her from me. My kisses trailed down to that place behind her ear, causing her to press into me because she needed more, and I needed her.

I roll over so that she's on top. Giving her full access to me, to all of me. She smiles at me her lovely hair framing her beautiful face. She smiles. My heart almost bursts, and then….. We both hear her name.

"Bella". The smiles flee from our faces. We look. We see. He's standing there. Face expressionless as she looks away….. She looks back. She leans forward slowly to kiss me on the cheek. I close my eyes as I relish the feel of her satin smooth lips pressed feather light to my skin. I close my eyes…… And feel a tear fall.

When I open them… she is gone. _Wonderin' was she really here? Is she standin in my room? No she's not… Cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone. _

I awoke from "The Dream" in a cold sweat. Which, all things considering was…. Pretty damn hard to do. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of my mind rebreaking my heart over and over again.

I had had enough I said to myself as I through off the covers and pulled on my shorts. I took a deep breath and jumped out the window breaking into a run towards Bella's as the song continued to play in my head. .

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart…… Giving up is the hardest part……….._


	15. Mars VS Venus

Chapter Fifteen: Mars VS Venus

I sensed him there. One moment I was asleep, the next I knew he was there. I opened my eyes and sat up taking him in. He was like my earth in that moment and I was the sun. He had m completely in his gravitational pull. I flip back the covers and he took a tentative step forward. I climbed out of bed and stood before him, he wrapped and arm around my waist.

_Your eyes say it all..  
They're fixed upon an object of desire  
You can't control  
No...  
But gravity compels you to ignite  
And explode__…. _

"Bella", was all he said and it elicited a moan from me as though he'd done the most wicked thing with his tongue. He said it with a definite, confidant, finality that bared no room for discussion or argument. So I agreed, with what I'm not sure. That he was the only one for me? That I was completely his? All of the above? Yes! "I know".

He smirked and gripped me tighter as it had scared me and I'd attempted to step back. "If you don't now, you will soon". He let me go and walked over to my stereo….. If I didn't know that I was gonna get it before, I CERTAINLY knew now as Usher began to fill my room. He walked back to me and I walked back until my back bumped against the wall. He captured my lips in his. _YES!_ My brain screamed. This is how it was supposed to be. Jacob Black setting my entire LIFE on fire with his kisses and his touch.

Girl it's taking off the ground  
You know how I put it down  
Have you seeing stars baby

I wrapped my arms around his neck and attempted to pull him closer. He grabbed one arm, and then the other and grasped them in one hand as he trailed kisses down my neck to my breasts where he ripped my shirt with his free hand. I stifled a moan as he kissed, and licked, and bit his way down to my stomach where his tounge dipped into my flimsy cotton shorts. A muttered "Fuck" slipped as he kissed his way back up to my mouth.

I cried out as he bit my neck, knowing I'd have a dark purple spot in the shape of his teeth there in the morning. When I saw him in my room I'd expected us to talk, maybe make love but as I bit his shoulder to stifle a moan which only earned me one from him I realized that this is what I wanted….. what I needed. We were having our own little argument…………… And no words were necessary.

This is the big bang so unpredictable  
Sex, love  
And find out whose in control  
Mars verses Venus

I latched onto his earlobe and sucked for all I was worth which earned me his hands on my hips which I felt garnered a thrust up to meet him. I wrestled my hands free and attempted to make quick work of his shorts. He pinned me against the wall and grinded against me for all he was worth I groaned in approval but he wouldn't win that easily. I wiggled my hips and he swore before hefting my legs around his waist while simultaneously slipping my shorts down so they fell to my ankles.

Seduce and analyze  
Yeahh  
Objective is to conquer deep  
And I make paradise

And conquer deep he did sliding into me in one go as if he were the hand specifically modeled for my "glove". He stilled as we both gasped at the perfection, completion, beauty, and unity of our joining. But he wasn't still for long. He pulled almost completely and chuckled at my whimper of the loss before driving home fast and hard. "GOD"! I semi-shouted taking into account that Charlie was down the hallway, but all thoughts of Charlie were banished from my mind with the quickness as Jacob made my back snap with the force of his thrust.

Pitch black  
Across amidst the galaxy between the sheets  
Want that only you and I  
Generate when we collide  
Hold that

Again. . . Again . . . . Again…… As I attempted to keep hold of my sanity I realized that I wasn't just thinking it… I was saying it and Jacobs thrust were meeting my tempo. "More, Jake….. My God more". He complied with a growl our tempo speeding up.

Don't make my emotions peak  
If I let go then ill be weak  
Your control is my defeat  
I repeat never never never never  
Will I give up no no No NO!

This is the big bang so unpredictable  
Sex, love  
And find out whose in control

"Faster"…

Mars verses venus  
But when the worlds collide  
This is the big bang  
Step into the ring of fire

"Faster"……

Sex, love  
Lets find out who takes desire  
Mars verses venus

I wrapped my legs around him.

I fisted my hands in his hair.

He placed his hands on the wall on either side of my head.

He looked me in the eyes……

"Jake"!

"Bella"! ……………..

And we were complete. One. Beautiful. As his pace slowed and he ground his hips into mine those final times and his head fell to place kisses on my shoulder I smiled as the last bit of melody floated from the speakers……

"I don't know if I win, but I know I wanna do it again"………..

I STRONGLY suggest lisnin 2 thee sng Mars VS Venus while reading this chappie.- TheE.T.


End file.
